6/7 - Mark DeRosa leaves Chicago

11:29 - After mercifully allowing the White Sox to win one game and single handidly motivating his team to hit 7 home runs in three games (one of course, his) Mark DeRosa is now moving onto Kansas City where he'll most likely impregnate most of it's population.

On a side note as previously reported my girlfriend is back from her important business trip downtown. That's good news.

The other Chicago team devastated by Mark DeRosa fared decent this weekend as well. The DeRosa-less Chicago Cubs took 2 of 3 from the Cincinnati Reds (another team in Ohio that Mark DeRosa does not play for ). Now as you know because Mark DeRosa wasn't on this team the Chicago Cubs were lucky to win one, but let us look at a couple of highlights this weekend.

- Mike Fontenot had a very rough weekend defensively. As most smart Cub fans know this wouldn't be a problem if DeRosa was on the team. Why? Simple. Mark DeRosa can simply stare at a groundball hit toward him and it will naturally throw itself to first base.

- Alfonso Soriano has been slumping hitting only .216/261/.396 through the month of May. It is important to point out that Mark DeRosa's teammate, Victor Martinez, has a line of .321/.413/.468 through the month of May. Coincidence? Yeah right.

- The Chicago Cubs' bullpen faltered yet again in the face of the Cincinnati Reds' batters. Carlos Marmol continues to be ineffective while David Patton's hiccup on Saturday cost the Chicago Cubs the game in extra innings on Saturday. What does this have to do with Mark DeRosa? Mark DeRosa doesn't believe in extra innings, the mere thought angers him.

- Carlos Zambrano won his 100th game on Friday afternoon and promptly retired his retirement soon thereafter. Carlos indicated to reporters that he intends to retire after his current contract expires and whether it be for family reasons or not, most know there's more than one reason for this.

1. After reflecting upon things Carlos Zambrano now realizes that though 100 wins is a great acheivement, he's acheived something far greater already. He was Mark DeRosa's teammate for at least one season.
2. Carlos Zambrano is utterly petrified that Mark DeRosa may come back into the National League.
3. Carlos Zambrano hit a homerun on Friday night that promptly made Mark DeRosa laugh. Carlos' ego (like most men's) could not handle this, therefore he must do the honorable thing and step away.

This won't be the first time Mark will leave my girlfrie.....Chicago but because Mark is who he is this always intrepid reporter will keep you updated. Until then.